The National Association of Economists have a lot to be happy about these days. Their earlier prediction of the nation’s economy continuing to be an out of control dumpster fire has been revised down to being just a smoldering mess of ashes. In a statement from the council release today, they added that they are confident in letting consumers know the economy will not the colossal shit-show like some forecasters were predicting. Quarterly predictions show that most consumers can look forward to that feeling of a vise of debt around their balls squeezing them dry of their will to live will be easing off somewhat in the last fiscal quarter.

Much of this may sound strange coming from an Economic Council but it is part of the Council’s attempt to modernize and streamline communications to taxpayers. “Most of the general public is unaware that we have recently dispensed with traditional economic buzzwords like Recession, Depression, or even GDP and Central Bank rate. We have found that no one seems to understand what those terms mean anyway. The Council thought that, maybe by making these terms reflect more how people actually talk, our public communication would be more accessible.”

As an example, focus groups have consistently shown that traditional economic terms like “Stagflation” could better be communicated by saying “Don’t quit your day job, if you even have one.”

The Council has released the national economic forecast for the next six months. In that report the Council lets consumers to know that the national economy is supposed to improve steadily in the coming months. Although it is expected to go from smoldering ashes to something resembling a toxic waste dump for the first two quarters, it will rebound and improve to more of a unclean gas station toilet by next Fall..